Gerard Butler has at least nine new films on the way – and we’ve followed movie website law and ranked them all in order of how much we want to see ’em.

You may have heard a rumour that this particular site is rather fond of the work of one Gerard Butler. That the oeuvre of the Scottish ass kicker is increasingly on our radar. I can confirm to you that this rumour is indeed correct. The Butler has at least nine films currently on the way, and after consultation with a crack team of internet consultants, we know just how to go about talking about them.

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Said consultants have reiterated to us that if we want clicks in this brutally competition movie website landscape, then we need to write lists. Tons of lists, they said. And rank anything you can.

They further advise ‘make sure you disguise the fact that it’s a list with some big pictures and stuff’, and that ‘you’ll coin it in’ if we do something of that ilk. The consultants then enclosed an invoice for their troubles, and went off to have a power breakfast.

Which leaves us here. Here then is our attempt to compete in the modern world, whilst getting across our enthusiasm for The Butler’s work. It’s been a difficult balance to strike, but here’s our definitive ranking of those nine upcoming films, from nine to one.

1 (joint)
NIGHT HAS FALLEN

For my money, the ‘Has Fallen’ series of movies finally found its feet with Angel Has Fallen, not least due to the wonderful double bill of The Butler with The Nolte. Frankly, I’d happily sit through a musical with the pair of them. A modern day remake of Paint Your Wagon, maybe?

Anyway: the first film I found a little nasty, the second film pretty vile, the third an absolute hoot. The news that at least three more are on the way – revealed last year – has made me happy. Robert Kamen will write the next – Night Has Fallen – and Ric Roman Waugh (Angel Has Fallen, Greenland) set to direct. More Mike Banning, then. That’s a good start. I put this production in joint first place.

1 (joint)
COP SHOP

Frank Grillo + Gerard Butler. There’s a good start.

It gets better, with what sounds like a soupcon of Assault On Precinct 13. A small town police station is the heart of the story, with “a professional hitman, a smart female rookie cop and a double crossing conman who seeks refuge behind bars with no place left to run”. I’ve copied and pasted that because I can’t improve on it.

Joe Carnahan – The A Team, Narc, Smokin’ Aces – is directing. It’s filming now apparently. It’s due in 2021. We’re due good news after all.

1 (joint)
REMOTE CONTROL

Don’t know much about this one, but it won’t stop me seeing it. This is based on a book by Mark Burnell that I’ve not read, and it follows Butler as a corporate intelligence analyst and some plot involving destabilising the Chinese economy.

I have every confidence this will be handled diligently and carefully.

John Mathieson (the DP on Gladiator, who worked with The Butler on Phantom Of The Opera) is making his directorial debut with this one.

1 (joint)
ALL-STAR WEEKEND

I know little of this one, other than The Butler is voicing a character called ‘Russian Gymnast Fan’. I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that this may be a cameo role. Jamie Foxx has written the script and is directing. This one’s in post-production. I shall be watching it, and then writing a list of the definitive portrayals of a Russian Gymnast Fan on the big screen. I need the clicks, m8.

1 (joint)
KANDAHAR

Director Ric Roman Waugh (Greenland, Angel Has Fallen) is directing this one. The Butler this time plays a CIA operative, who is fleeing – along with his translator – from special forces in Afghanistan.

I have every confidence this will be handled diligently and carefully.

Mitchell LaFortune is co-writing. This one’s in pre-production, and I reckon we’ll see it in 2022. Well, I will.

1 (joint)
DEN OF THIEVES 2

I really liked the first Den Of Thieves, with the heist thriller on the surface looking like a Heat clone. Turned out it was a bit of a Heat clone, but a fun one. I really liked the ensemble of this one too, with The Butler joined by 50 Cent and O’Shea Jackson.

They’re all set to return. This one should have been due in 2021, but then 2020 happened so lord knows when it’s happening. But it’s going to happen. Christian Gudegast will write and direct again. And, yep, I shall watch. Joint first again for this one. Crikey, this ranking stuff is tricky.

1 (joint)
GREENLAND

Director Ric Roman Waugh (Kandahar, Angel Has Fallen) reads the room with the story of a planet in the face of a natural disaster. Gerard Butler will sensitively save the Earth, joined by Morena Baccarin, Scott Glenn and Roger Dale Floyd. Plus some explosions and stuff.

This one’s finished and has been released in some parts of the world. We get it via Amazon Prime Video early next year. I, for one, shall be watching it.

1 (joint)
AFTERBURN

From The Villainess director Byung-gil Jung comes a film that sees The Butler leading a team of treasure hunters.

Reading the room, this one’s set on a post-apocalyptic Earth, that’s been half-destroyed (in this case by a big solar flare). Butler is on the hunt for relics, and woe betide anyone who stands in his way.

It’s based on the comic by Scott Chitwood and Paul Ens. My thoughts on this one: yes.

1 (joint)
NAYA LEGEND OF THE GOLDEN DOLPHIN

Bugger it, I’ll watch this one as well.

More cutting edge Butler analysis whenever the consultants advise us it’s safe to do so. We’re off to count the clicks this article will no doubt bring in. Ker-ching!

Images: BigStock.

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